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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Brilliant Tourists

During the Christmas Season of our shows, November 1st - January 1, I sell blinking LED lights. Believe me, this is not a job I love. Before I begin, here is a link to the lights. I use the display board at the bottom of that link to display 12 different designs. They are mainly Christmas themed to go along with the season. The lights are all magnetic instead of having a pin. Very cool because they do not damage your clothing. I usually wear two of them on my dress and one on each ear, like earrings. I have a little sign that says " 1 for $3 or 2 for $5". The price is posted, they are told that they are held on by a magnet and there are 12 designs. Simple right? Easy to understand?

I am basically a very friendly person and very easy to get along with. The main thing that will lessen the "friendly" demeanor is......stupidity. Sorry, it's true. I cannot always keep the cheery smile when I am asked stupid questions. It doesn't help that I am normally swamped with people and selling them like peanuts at a ballgame. Frequently I am helping up to 4 people at a time, making $500 in 15 minutes. Here are some of the brilliant questions that I have been asked. Oh, and yes, that was meant to be read with a great deal of sarcasm. By the way, I write these down as I am selling them, so as not to forget the exact wording.

Did you make them? (no, but my people did. Actually, I have my own little factory at my house)

They are 1 for $3 or 2 for $5? So, you can't get just one?

Do they stick to your skin?

Me: You need 2 of them for earrings
Them: Why?
Me: You have 2 ears

So...are these the cookies? ( we also sell cookies at the booths, however, I am on the stage and ummm DUH, do these look like cookies?)

Them:No, I want the other Santa Claus
Me: There isn't another one
Them: That one
Me: The snowman?
Them: Yes, that santa

Blinky lights, is that what you're wearing?

Me: They are all different
Them: How are they different?
Me: There are 11 different designs

So, are you Oriental? (Grrr, no I'm Asian! I am not a rug!!)

Is the battery the magnet?

The best 2 questions of all time....

Which one's the tree? The star?

So, they blink?

Yes, these are actual questions. *sigh*


~athena~ said...

That post is hilarious! I know when you're in the moment it's definitely not as funny. But those questions - you seriously can't make up stuff like that. I'll have to start writing down student questions I get, which are pretty much the equivalent (and very similar), just different context. Fun blog Vikki!

Vikki said...

Seriously, you can't make that stuff up. It depends on my mood if I'm laughing or grrr-ing at them. It's funny. Most days I go backstage and complain. When I was sick and Maria had to sell the stuff for me, she started doing the same thing before long. lOL

Kimi said...

LOL Hey Vikki! Kim Hannan here and I had a ball reading those comments. I call it stating the husband does it all the time. It drives me madd...
When someone else does it around my husband and I we look at each other and say "here's your sign" (comedian)
I thought the Oriental comment was hysterical! It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round!